How do you cope when ivf fails?

Beckie
My husband and I are seeing an IVF specialist in a few weeks. We're hoping to start the medications in October and the series in November. My only question, how do you cope if it fails? We will be refinancing our house to pay for it. Insurance pays nothing. I definitely want to go for it because it sounds like it's our last option.. I know the statistics, in general, are only about 50% but how many people really do NOT conceive? I have endometriosis, other than that everything's been normal. Thank you!

Griselda
With the support of some great friends and family members. It hurts. I've gone through 4 failed cycles, 2 that ended in losses. I found a couple of great fertility forums, fertilethoughts.com and IVFconnections.net. I found a few women in my area from fertilethoughts who have struggled with infertility and failed cycles that I have become great friends with. No one, unless they have suffered from infertility, can understand us unless they have taken a walk in our shoes. It is very comforting to surround yourself with others who understand completely. I always try and give myself something to look forward to if I fail a cycle. That usually consists of some good wine and a hot bath and treating myself to something nice. It does not take the pain away but, in a way, it helps. With time the pain subsides as well.I also did my research before starting the process and even more after a failed cycle. I just feel better with more knowledge and covering my bases and better knowing that I put 100% into a cycle. Start acupuncture now. Success rates increase when doing acupuncture in conjunction with IVF. Get gentle exercise and find ways to cope with stress. Meditated and breathe. Eat foods to alkalize your body. An alkalized body provides a more hospitable environment for embryos.Also, though it is expensive (I pay out of pocket as well), do ask about getting immune testing done. My doctor did not have a lot of faith in it but after 4 failed cycles I asked to have it done and found that I do indeed have some immune issues that perhaps caused implantation failure and did cause me to miscarry. You can ask for a recurrent pregnancy loss (if you've had a loss or not) blood panel. If you are in the US it is about $350 at Lab Corp. I do know that if I do not succeed I will be okay. Yes it will hurt but I have grown so close to my husband in this process we will be able to move forward together and we will, by mentoring, fostering, or fostering to adopt, have children in our lives.I wish you much luck and that your journey is a short one!

Brice
I always figured parenting was only one of many options in life.,,, a 20 year commitment. So I figure if I had a child, fine. And If I didn't, that was fine too. Life in the 21st century isn't the way it was 300 years ago, when all women could do was have babies. We are now first class citizens in the US, we now vote, (since the 1920) drive cars, (they still can't in Iran) and hold great jobs. The world is a super place in which to see wonderful things and travel.So, never much cried in my beer over something that just wasn't going to happen. There were always so many other things to put on my plate. Being a parent was only one.

Blaine
This was my 1st procedure (7/27/2009) of the IVF cycle and I have PCOS.. Im 32 and my husband is 35.. We had only 4 fertilized eggs and I put back 3 eggs.. Next friday I will know the results. Also, thank god I live in one of the states that pays for IVF because they consider infertility as a decease.. So to answer your question, Like you said there's a 50/50 chance. I would speak with the Specialist and ask them do they have any packages(for IVF) and/or do they have any samples of the medications you might have to take, since you are paying out of pocket., Also speak with your insurance company to see if they will pay for the bulk of your medications (that would be a great plus).. Well take care and I hope I kinda answer your question.. Baby dust to you!!!Good luck